It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize