i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
last night I used snow as a chaser
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