I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
