But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
