Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
