Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize