i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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