I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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