i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
