Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
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