What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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