You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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