their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize