her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize