i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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