if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He is an equal opportunity slut.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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