shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
