I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
