My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
