Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
