My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Be still, my beating vagina.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
