She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
