Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry heyitshayleyy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(415): View more from California

Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.

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(760): View more from California

i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous

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(319): View more from Iowa

Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter

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(970): View more from Colorado

I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.

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(407): View more from Florida

How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?

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(630): View more from Illinois

they sound like some classy girls.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?

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(619): View more from California

I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.

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