I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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