I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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