Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Can I color on your dick again?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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