I'm drive I can fine osifer
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
