ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
