Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
