he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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