if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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