it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
