I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
