Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
