3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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