Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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