its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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