i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
