Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
