So drunk its hurt
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
