he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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