i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She's not a foreskin expert like you
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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