When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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