I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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