**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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