The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
