She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
