Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
