Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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