Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Randomize
