i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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