Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
