i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
