1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
