I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
