plz talk dirty to me
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
