The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
