Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
