Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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