Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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