I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
