I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
