its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
