my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
His hands were made for my vagina.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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