My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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