i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
